In Asian culture people are much more welcoming of kids, but in America they seem to be in the way. I must try to hush them or apologize for them.
In Asia they have a view "There's always room for more", and you can see them squeeze a whole neighborhood of people onto a Jeepney. In America they ask how many kids you can have based on how many car seats fit in the car.
I'm risking a little here, putting my real thoughts out there on this one, but I am going to give it a shot anyway.
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There's tons of pictures I have collected like this one that I am not brave enough to put my thoughts on here yet. I don't want to sound judgmental, but I want to reflect on this for a bit.
Why are Americans so protective of their boundaries? So isolated and uninviting? There's many ways I feel unwelcome here, even in my own country, but I know that is because the value is placed highly on "personal space." This is not the view of Asians.
I"m not sure I totally have processed all my feelings and thoughts about this yet, but I decided to post the picture anyway. Feel free to comment or whatever.
YET the reason I felt brave enough to post this one was because I feel like God pointed the finger back at me...in what ways am I a person like this sign: giving people the message to keep away and keep their distance? In what ways am I still so American even in my Philippine neighborhood--keeping my gate locked, keeping the neighbor kids out, and if they dare come near do I threaten to "get out the dog" (which, in my case would it be yelling?).
I felt even worse about the sign once I realized that I am not only like this with many people in my life, including some of my Filipino neighbors (with an unwritten code, of course), but with my own husband. I was convicted on my walk when I realized that I often send that same message to Nate: "Do not come near me! Give me space! I feel like I've been serving others all day and the kids keep climbing on me, and now it is MY time and I need MY space, and if you even think of taking that away from me, I'll send the dog on you--the angry woman with fierce words to bite."
Oh, Lord, help me to become a welcoming woman. A woman who has no fences and boundaries that would send unloving messages to others near me. Help me not to send warning signs "Beware of Dog" to any that would try to "take my space" or step into my personal time. What kind of signs do you want me to post in my life? "Welcome, come on in! Enjoy our company, even strangers welcome!" Or "Beware of love---if you enter in to my world I will embrace you and show God's love to you."
Matthew 18.5 "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."
Matthew 25.35-40 "'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in....'
Then the righteous will answer him,
'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
When did we see you a stranger and invite you in...'
The King will reply,
'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for me.'"
3 comments:
jessica--i wish you could see the signs my "asian" neighbors have on their windows here (actually, they aren't all asian, now that i think about it, but half the building is indian). we use the back stairs all the time, which you can only get to by walking through the "private" yard that is gated (though not locked) yet people have signs that say, "we call the police," " no trespassing" "video surveillance" in use." i guess, like you, i have been questioning the unwelcoming perception. when we were moving in, the kids were at bill's parents. people wanted to know if we had kids, and you could see them grimace when we said we had four. it is definitely hard to feel like such a large number of kids can make the whole family unwelcome.
but you are definitely right, i need to consider my own unwelcoming attitudes, especially toward my husband, particularly at the end of a long day.
thanks for the thoughts and the inspiration. i hope you feel comfortable sharing your other thoughts and signs one of these days!
beautiful. i love it because it's what you think, AND because you're open to learning the lessons God wants to teach you in the middle of it. keep it coming, J!
Hi Melanie,
Thanks for entering in with me! You can totally relate to the feeling! And you are right, when I say 'Asian" I am definitely being broad with the term, generalizing to my Asian experience. It is interesting to hear about your neighbors--and the signs they have too. Thanks so much for sharing.
And B, thanks for your comment too!
You both encourage me to keep writing. We'll see what comes out next (should I blog my thoughts about Dogs as Children in America?)
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