Last Day Teaching

Today is my last teaching day. I feel so sad and mixed and emotional. The high school students are leaving tomorrow for outdoor education, so that is why my teaching quarter ends earlier than Nate's (at the middle school and elementary).

I have been teaching here for more than three years now. I feel like it is my second home and I have poured so much time and love in here. I am really grieving this parting and trying to process all my feelings about it today.

It is also strange for me because I am the only person grieving. Normally when we say good-bye it is at the end of the school year when everyone else is crying and transitioning and finding closure. However, this time it is just me. Nate also has his own perspective, yet for him he is still teaching for more than a week and also he is coming back (Lord-willing) to teach again in August. Whereas for me, I am turing in my keys and turning over my classes and my students to others so I can focus on being a mother and wife next August. It is quite a transition for me.

I spent a long time praying and reflecting this morning about Jesus. He can identify with me because he, also, was the only one leaving this world. I imagine how he felt knowing that he had such a huge good-bye to make. Only his was even more sorrowful and intense! He was giving his life!! I am just leaving the country.

But for me, knowing that Jesus, too, left his world (this world) for his other world (heaven)--that is comforting to me. I am soon leaving my world here (the Philippines) to go to the other world, which I haven't been to for a while (the U.S.). It is very very strange for me to love both "worlds" and to be straddling the border of each in my heart at this time.

Jesus is my model at this time. I asked myself, "What did Jesus do at the end of his teaching? How did Jesus spend his last week(s) before he left this world?"

Jesus was teaching faithfully to the very last. He did exactly what the Father showed Him to do, and he loved his disciples to the very last (He was about to show them the full extent of his love).

Jesus first had the crowds gathering at the temple to hear his teaching. That is like me and my time in the classroom--giving my last words and my last messages to my precious students. Then Jesus withdrew and spent focused time just with his close disciples. He shared much with them and also processed the transition he was about to face as he was about to give his life. That is how I feel I will spend these next two weeks--focusing in on a few people--my husband and how I can help him, the friends closest to me and the Lord Himself. Lastly, Jesus spent his last hours in intense prayer and time with His Father. I see myself doing this too--having solitude at the end of our time here and spending much time praying and seeking God.

I imagine how Jesus felt, knowing that he was leaving his disciples on this earth and trusting that they would carry on the work of all He taught them. (He also sent the Holy Spirit!). That makes me feel better too, knowing that I am not abandoning my students, but I am entrusting them to the Holy Spirit to care for them and help them to live out all that I taught them. I have to let go of them and leave them, and I have to trust that what I taught them will be fruitful by the working of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

It truly is a big day for me. A day of transition. A day of good-bye. A day to reflect and remember what Christ did for us. A day to praise God for the time I had teaching and for the love I have for my students. A day to persevere to the very end and to be faithful to this calling to the last minute.

Today, Lord, I give you my all. I give you my heart and my emotions. I am placing my trust in You. I place my students in your care and pray that you will help them to carry out your will and all that I taught them these three years. Help them to follow you faithfully all their days, and may you leave your Holy Spirit at work here to bring much fruit for your kingdom. In Jesus' name, Amen!